The Best Blessings In Being Single

I know in the last post, I presented a side of singleness that is more spiritually focused, mentally disciplining, and just plain hard to do sometimes.  I wanted to follow up with more practically positive things about being in an single state, possibly extended beyond what you've imagined should be "fair".  Primarily for my own mental peace and as an act of disciplining my mind to focus on whatever is pure, lovely and true, I have a running list of "blessings from God in my singlehood" for a woman (or male) to ponder while living life in an unmarried state.  These may or may not appeal to you, so feel free to chime in with your own list of blessings.

1)  My time is my own to choose to do what I want to do with it
2)  I don't have to watch the hunting channel ever, if I don't want to.
3)  I don't have to share the Wii.
4)  I always get to spend every holiday season with my family without having to spend it with in-laws.
5)  I get to pick my own radio station and leave it there for as long as I want and listen to it as loud or soft as I want to.

I want to put a little caveat here... I have been told before by a married man who, honestly, has shown himself to be fairly foolish with his time and his relationships that he, in a way, envied a single person because it gave license to be totally selfish and focus on doing whatever YOU want to do.    

Let's be clear... being single does not give you license to be selfish anymore than having a pool justifies you drowning someone in it.  (How 'bout THAT analogy?)  Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.  Period.

6)  Spend time with friends without having to pass it by anybody else
7)  I love having more time to read and study uninterrupted by the pitter patter of little feet... or the shuffling of dusty, adult-sized Redwings across my newly mopped tile floor. :)
8)  I can make dinner consisting of what I like to eat... which might be a bowl of cereal or an apple.  Only. Or, a three course meal with friends!
9)  I think being single allows me more time to dream dreams for what I believe the Lord has for my life.
10)  I get to pray and praise outloud anytime, even if it is 2:27 AM on a week day and not worry about disturbing anyone.
11)  I get to spend more time doing ministry with and towards other families because I am not, at this time, having to take care of my own family.
12)  Singleness provides more time for preparation for the season of life that might include a spouse and possibly children.  This preparation time might include taking cooking classes, learning more about health and wellness, learning to garden or basic mending, learning and maintaining financial responsibility, picking up a new craft for bringing in household revenue later on, or spending time investing in other married couples and learning what are some big hurdles that married people go through no matter your race, culture, society, or age.
13)  Usually there is a lot of silence or quiet time where I can spend just thinking, which after talking to many married women with children, it seems like thinking without interruption is a luxury.  :)
14)  Travelling at any time, planned or unplanned, alone or with friends or family.
15) I think that periods of singleness do include times of loneliness.  However, I have had married woman after married woman tell me that loneliness is NOT specific to singles.  It is the white elephant in the living room of many married people's homes... and can actually be the cause of people leaving marriage to become single once again because their needs are not being fulfilled in the way they would like.  I choose to look at these moments, periods of loneliness, as building up my character.  A lot of times, loneliness provides an emotional impetus for me to seek out Christ more urgently, more frequently and find Him in the tightest of places and in the vast expanse of life.  It is in those moments of finding Him when no other person is around, I am changed for the better.

One of the greatest blessings the Lord has provided for me in prolonged singleness is the fact that, if and when the Lord provides a godly mate for me to do life with, I will be so grateful for our time and my season of waiting will enhance the time eventually spent together. 

"Wait on the Lord; Be strong and take heart and wait on the Lord."  Psalm 27:14   

Waiting is not bad.  Unfortunately, we are culturized enough, Christians included, that we believe that waiting for any length of time at all is a punishment of sorts and immediacy is our entitlement.  This is simply not truth.  God has plenty to say to us while we are "in the waiting".  Maybe we should take this time to listen... really hear what He is saying when you're by yourself, uninterrupted, quiet.  Appreciate the silence and intimate time with Christ and realize, more than likely, there will be a time somewhere down the path you are travelling where mere seconds of uninterrupted time will seem like a Godsend.  What is He trying to tell you as a single person?  What lessons are being taught in the quiet moments of your day in possible preparation for marriage?  Can God trust you to be thankful in times that don't look exactly like you'd envisioned or prefer?  Take an inventory of your thoughts and actions and conversations... what percentage is spent on complaining over the state of your life or the lack of your preferred provision?

My mom has said this for years that in a lot of cases, NOT ALL, but a lot of cases, a depressed or unhappy person is one who is entirely too self-focused and spends time wallowing in his problems rather than helping others through theirs.  I think in many cases, this is the truth.  If we would focus on others and do what we can to serve them, our own "plight" really comes becomes the tool Christ uses to minister to others.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."  Proverbs 3:5-6

Until whenever, enjoy your singleness... use your time wisely... serve others graciously... give of yourself generously... love selflessly ... and above all, trust Christ ruthlessly.  In these things, you will become a woman who pleases the Lord and the benefactor of God's very best gifts... perhaps in a tall, dark and handsome package.  :)