Welcome Y'all

Hopefully the name of this blog speaks for itself. I envision it being one of humor, exhortation, random musings, theological discussion, sports, and things that impact my life and could bless yours. Sometimes it might be a verse or a funny story, a sports score that has me up in arms or a profound truth that has hit me. I pray you find your visit here blessing your heart.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Mercy and Grace

I am reading Henry Blackaby's book CHOSEN TO BE GOD'S PROPHET: LESSONS FROM THE LIFE OF SAMUEL from his Biblical legacy series. I highly recommend it and though I am not even halfway through yet, it is just excellent. Perhaps it is just hitting me on some issues that I have been struggling with lately. I have marked up lots of passages so far but wanted to share one in particular.

"Many book have been written about grace, but preceding grace is mercy. God's nature, revealed to Moses, was - 'My name is mercy'." This is described in Exodus 34:6-7.
"Before God can give you what you do not deserve, He will have to withhold from your what you really deserve. God must first cancel your sin. When you cry out to God for mercy and plead with Him to extend His mercy to you, you do so because you have sinned grievously against a Holy God."

We all deserve everything but mercy. We do not have a full enough concept of our sin and how it disgraces the Lord God in front of the multitudes of saints. We think that what we do, we do in private. No so, says the Lord. That is really scary to think that all our sins will be exposed and we will have nowhere to run except to beg for the mercy of God. This is where we find our hiding place and safety. There can be no better place than in the arms of the Creator of the universe.

Crying out for mercy is the only hope we have. When is the last time you found yourself crying out for anything other than additional comforts for your life? When was the last time I did that? There is so much more that we need besides comfort and thankfully he is more concerned with our character rather than our comforts.

Father, we do cry out for an outpouring of your mercy and an overflowing of your grace. We are nothing without You.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

A Walk in the Park

So, let's catch up on sweet little Vivi...

She is so adorable... when she is not urinating on the floor, throwing up in the den, or chewing my favorite socks. Absolutely precious, I say. The puppy is CLEARLY a sanguine puppy, kind of like her Aunt Christi. Playful, fun, short attention span... you get the picture. If not, go back and look at a few posts ago. It's right there.

Let's talk about our little outing today.

Yes. Today, we had a little aunt and puppy time together. We talked, she slept, I drove, we listened to Carrie Underwood. A great time was had by all. My friend, Sharon, and her mongrel, I mean, dog, went with us. I invited them because I LOVE Sharon and her dog needs some social skills in a major way. This dog has no friends and let me tell you, her last days will be lonely. I, in my own way, am trying to help that (rat dog) pet become all that she can be. And she is completely ungrateful and wants to bite me on the backside for even attempting to help her. She did lick me today for the first time. Sharon thinks it was primarily to determine if she needed A-1 or Heinz 57 when she finally took a bite out of crime. I can't say that I disagree with her. (Just for future reference, this lovely dog is named Georgia, but she has several nicknames.)

So, Vivi and I (and our "friends") decided to try out the dog park in East Nashville today. This was not going to be an all day affair, but something that lasted a couple of hours at most. My friend at work was hyping the dog park dynamic so I took the bait. Plus, I don't have to wear those stupid footies there so I said, "Vivi, git in the car - we're goin'!" After driving approximately 90 minutes for a 12-15 mile drive, I knew today was going to ROCK! Growling Gidget was scratching the steel from her cage bars in the back of the car and Vivi was chillin' in my lap. Sharon and I are discussing lots of things from both of us being poor map readers, both of us having a terrible sense of direction, and me having less than 1/16 of a tank of gas left. Fun times. Anyway, Chewbacca finally quit shredding the steel and we arrived at the dog park after becoming friends with 8 cops, 7 random walkers, 6 random passengers in cars, 5 dog walkers, 4 adolescents heading to the community center, 3 marathon finishers, 2 children in strollers and 1 security guard. This dog park was hard to find.

We get there and notice there are caterpillars everywhere. Gross! Not the inchworm-ish critters. These are the plump juicy fuzzy, yellow and black caterpillars that I am positive are poisonous and will NOT turn into butterflies. Everywhere. I get out and haul out Vivi's diaper bag. You think I am kidding. This puppy travels in style, Baby. She has her own travel bag, and in the bag, she has: food, food bowl, treats of many different flavors, regular leash, retractable leash, small towel (for when she sweats), bottled water and water dish, eye cream for when her eyes drain and we don't want them to stain, and "pet wipes" for ... well, the name speaks for themselves. I wish I was kidding about this, but alas, I am not. I will say, I have NEVER EVER used the "pet wipes". This girl has to have her standards and I am not doing that. Sorry. Call me a bad aunt. I am totally OK with that.

Vivi walks me over to the fenced area while I am carrying her bag and my bag (which carries my reading material and bottle of water - THAT IS ALL!). The Queen of Mean is growling the entire way over to the fenced area because she has to walk and wants to be carried exactly 4 ft, 6 inches above the level of other dogs and she ain't makin any bones about it... she's ticked. Vivi looks at her in a very friendly way, she snarls. Georgia's learning curve is a little steeper than other dogs her age in the area of social skills. I don't know what else to say about that.

We go in and meet the first pooch, a cairn terrier, whose owner keeps telling him to "SIC 'er" toward Vivi. Clearly, another dog who needs social skill training... perhaps the owner as well. Who does that? First rattle out of the bag, not even a "Hey, what's up, let me have a sniff." before "SIC' er!" Anyway, luckily there was another dog, Tiger. I liked him (and the single male owner) but alas, there was no love connection for Viv and Tig. Tiger was about 8 times Vivi's size anyway so I don't see that working out. I learned some things about Viv today. She has no fear and she runs really fast. She also shares very well and is very modest....all of which makes me very proud to be her aunt.

Move along to meet the other dogs: Let's see... we had, Tiger, Chester (the hound), Jake (the Weimariner), Stella (the brindle medium dog), and Bartlesby (the dalmatian mix). All very nice dogs, all much bigger than Vivi, all very into Vivi. It was SO MUCH like HIGH SCHOOL!!!! Vivi was clearly the cute cheerleader in high school and Jake was the star QB, Chester was the strong but silent Valedictorian, both fighting for the same girl and Stella was the jealous dance team member. I could not have seen this more clearly. Viv was the popular girl and the other guy dogs danced around her and acted cool but when she was about to leave their vicinity, everyone became very territorial with Vivi ... except for Stella who was whispering malicious lies to Georgia about Vivi for the ride home. Georgia heard every word and was clearly calculating her next move. Classic KHS!

Sharon and I are making friends with the owners and watching the dog soap opera play out when she and I felt something crawling up our legs. OH YEAH! The caterpillars were alive and well and scurrying up our legs and all I can say is that YOU WISH that you had been there to see it! Others present in the park DID see it and came over to make friends with the freaky girls dancing on the bench with poisonous caterpillars crawling up their shorts by now. Thrilling to say the least. After that show of emotion, Georgia was more than miffed that she had been disturbed and actually had to stand on the same ground as the other dogs and basically demanded that Vivi share her best treats with her. So, we got them out and then Georgia totally turned her nose up at them. Snooty Patootie! By this time, the entire population of thepark had migrated over to our little corner. People pulled up benches, the boy dogs were whispering about Viv's silky coat and gams (you know guys are visual), and Stella and Georgia were catty and cracked open a cold one to spike the water buckets. Typical.

But wait... where's Bartlesby? Remember, the good looking Dalmatian mix. Oh, here he is...


PEEING ON MY BAG!!!!!
And just like typical boys, Jake and Chester started laughing (they love bathroom humor). And don't think for a minute that Gnarly and Snarly didn't plan that! Oh, they acted like they were genuinely surprised but you could totally see the evil sneer. And then, they went behind the tree, high fived and drank the rest of the hooch. I have one thought for that: Vivi and I are Christians (she became one three days ago when she quit pottying on the carpet) and we will ignore this incident. They only serve "warm" beer where those kinds of girls will be going and it just won't be as fulfilling in the heat.
We left in a blaze of glory with yet more caterpillars crawling on us and honestly, we just got tired of all the tricks Jake and Chester were doing to get Viv's attention. It got a little embarrassing. Come on, guys! Keep it together! A little give and go - don't drown her in attention. I personally am pulling for Chester but as her aunt, I will support her decision. It's a girl's perrogative - just ask Britney. She knows.
We are certainly going back in the near future. Who knew the dog park could be so much fun?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Beware of Friends Wearing Slingshots

...Ok, so I am eating lunch with my good friend, Leah. Let me branch into how much this girl ROCKS! Love her! She is new to Vandy and such a breath of fresh air up there. We have decided that we need to be going to the main hospital cafeteria for lunch. The Starbucks, the Pesto Minestrone soup, the doctors and the time away from the clinic. What is not to love?! So we took a jaunt down to the courtyard cafe... Herein lies today's funny story...

So, here we are, hair brushed (perhaps stylishly mussed), nails polished, debit card in hand walking at a good little clip to be sure. We have a rule up at Vandy... no open toe shoes.

Yeah. That stinks, especially in the spring and summer with cute sandals. However, this is NOT the worst rule we have.

We MUST wear stockings or socks or the ugly little footies that "try" to hide under the leather of your shoe but let's be real. They are not foolin anybody. You can see those ugly footies eight people away and they are not pretty. IF you cannot tell about my opinion about this rule, let's spell it out...

T-o-t-a-l-l-y stupid rule! (Yeah, I said Stupid ... and I think it IS a stupid rule.)

Anyway, Leah and I are walking around, finding our food, rubbing elbows with lumbering eligible long lab coats and looking for a table. Long story short, Leah found a table as I was paying and I walked over to the table she picked across the way. As I walked over there, my little stupid footie slipped off the bottom of my heel in my shoe for the 847th time that day. SO ANNOYING! I sat down and unloaded my tray. We were chatting and trying to present our best angles in catch the best lighting, you understand. IN a flash of brilliance, I decided I would just casually reach down and fix the little booger in my shoe and try to be as inconspicuous about because really... who honestly wants to see that?

I reached down to pull the footie down over my heel and my shoe slips off...

... AND I SHOT THE UGLY, STUPID, LITTLE STINKY FOOTIE ACROSS THE MAIN HOSPITAL CAFETERIA!!!
OH YES, I DID!!!

It landed in the hot doctor's soup at the table beside us.


NO IT DIDN'T!!!!!
What kind of moron do you think I am? I have other ways of getting physician attention. I am not going to make him puke by shooting my sock in his lunch! Good grief! I have some couth!!

I became aware in this situation just what kind of friend I am. Seriously. This is what I thought...

Thought #1: "GOOD GRAVY TRAIN, I JUST SHOT THAT STUPID FOOTIE ACROSS THE DANG BLASTED CAFETERIA WITH ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL LAB COATS ALL AROUND!"

Thought #2: Fake it. IT DIDN'T HAPPEN! Admit NOTHING! That is somebody else's stupid footie. Quick, find your happy place. HAPPY PLACE. HAPPY PLACE. HAPPY PLACE.

Thought #3: Where in the cocoa puffs did it go? DON'T MAKE A SCENE, CHRISTI! Probably not too far away, I bet I can reach out with my foot (which is bare by the way, now) and pick it up like Jennifer Little used to do back in middle school with those amazing long toes.

Stinky footie spotted... walking distance away. OH yeah.

Here is where I feel ashamed, sorta...

Thought #4: It is kind of by Leah. Closer to Leah than to me. Maybe I could... NO! You can't! OR could you? Maybe I can leave it there and somebody will think it is hers and they won't notice my OTHER ugly stupid little footie hanging out from under my other shoe. Oh yeah. That's my play. (Enter GUILT, GUILT, GUILT...)

Holy Spirit's thought #1: Classy move, Hot stuff. IF you are going to shaft your friend, at least do it when you have used odor eaters. What you are doing is just WRONG! You are a skanky new friend." (I am a little fuzzy on the last phrase the Holy Spirit used. I cannot be sure if He said "skanky" or "stanky" friend. I actually have never heard either phrase used before by the Holy Spirit but let's face it.... that was poor performance in friendship 101.

Thought #5: Well Crap. I am going to have to go pick up that totally useless footie off the floor. So, then what? After it is in my hand, then what? Put it back on so we can have a repeat performance in 12.7 seconds? Dude, if it happens again, I am TOTALLY blaming Leah!!! Just go get the stupid sock.

I slipped on my shoe without the footie and walked over and picked it up off the floor and walked briskly back over to my table where Leah was transfixed on my face which by now had taken on SO many expressions including: annoyance, horror, fear, guilt, conviction, defeat and finally, the inhalation of humble pie. She, oh sweet friend, full of innocence and blissfully unaware...

Here is a question for you: What do you do with the sock now that you have picked it up and brought it back to the table with you? Put it back on the footie-less foot? Put it in your purse? Try again and aim higher so as to show your sense of humor to the only Dr who didn't see it the first time since the rest are snubbing their nose at you? What do you do?

You want to know what I did?

I sat on it.

Right under the left cheek. Just couldn't handle the whole situation so I just sat on it. I don't know what that solved, but it made me feel better and I just wanted it to go away. It became funny shortly after that and I eventually put the stupid footie back on.

It was truly a character building moment. Glad you could enjoy it with me.

Sorry Leah.