Being the Best at Being Single

I know a lot of single women and I'm gonna be honest about it... there are a lot of them that are NOT happy about being single.  I am one of them sometimes.  I think we deal with "marriage MUST be better than this" thought process when you are trying to bring all the groceries up three flights of stairs after working all day to come in a find that your pooch has relieved herself on the newly cleaned carpet.  Some days, it is the "it would be so nice to always have someone to go to my office party with".  Other days, it is "honestly, I just wish I had my own personal snuggie - and we ain't talkin' about that lame blanket"!  I think we as women, probably all at one time or another suffer from "the-grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side-of-the-fence" syndrome on some days.  I don't know... I am not married so I would love to hear feedback from the married readers. 

My most courageous and sober thoughts about being single help me realize that being married is not the answer to all of life's ills or problems nor does married life always consist of chocolate, flowers and back rubs for most people at all times.  In fact, at times, it compounds life's ills and problems and though flowers make an occassional appearance, so do double amount of dirty dishes, unfolded clothes, and a few too many in-laws.  :)  I am not bad mouthing marriage at all and I sincerely believe that God has us in godly marriages for sanctification and to be an example of Christ and His bride, the church.  That is kind of a weird concept on some level but such a beautiful picture when you allow your mind to envision what that looks like.  Such love and such compassion.  The lucky thing about this love and compassion is that it is available to single women in the person of Christ.  He loves us enough to give us this time of sanctification for ourselves without someone else hindering our sanctification process.  It takes a lot to get to the point where this is really what we long for, I know.  However, when it is revealed that another human, man or woman, is not the solution to your time management issues, your financial concerns, your problems with your family and your sin issues, it helps bring the right perspective to the situation. 

So, how do we embrace our singleness and enjoy this time the Lord has given us to spend with Him uninterrupted and unabridged?  How do we keep our minds and hearts engaged in the thought that minds and hearts singly engaged with Christ is just as much a gift as a godly marriage is?  How do we not fritter this precious time away waiting for the next season that may (or may not) look exactly how we want it to look?  Ladies (and gents), the solution here is contentment and focus.  And YES, it is VERY hard!!  I know it is.  I am there now and have been here for some time.  It is an act of discipline to focus on what Christ wants us to focus on and not what the world/society throws at us through a myriad of images, promotions, available goods, etc.  A few verses to help us through this...

"We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,"   2 Corinthians 10:5

"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and haracter produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."  Romans 5:3-5

"...Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that..."  1 Corinthians 7:28b

"And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit.  But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to 'please' her husband...(my personal paraphrase:  pick up his socks on every day ending in "y", visit his mother every weekend, clean up buttery popcorn stains and vacuum up salty pretzel crumbs off the newly reupholstered couch after THE game... from him and his eight buddies... among other things that are not delineated in Scripture and usually not found out until after "I do". )   1 Corinthians 7: 34

Just a few Scriptures that can encourage us to continue to walk in faithfulness and see where this journey takes us.  It is not easy - you will never hear me say that walking the path of singleness is easy.  It is definitely hard.  It is just not too hard for you if you are currently single.  If you were to be married at this time, you would be.  If you are not, don't waste your life.  Do something constructive while you are waiting on "The One".  You really don't know how long you have left.  Don't sit around and wait for Mr. Perfect - he is not out there.  There is only a potentially Mr.-Perfect-for-you and right now, choose to serve others while being actively seeking.  Engage in hospitality of your single friends, invest in godly marriages by volunteering to babysit for their children so they have a night together uninterrupted. Go visit the elderly for a few hours on the weekends.  Go on a youth-led  mission trip.  Live life as it is supposed to be lived and maybe, just maybe, there might be someone who comes along beside you pursuing the things of the Lord that He has placed in your path.

Trust Him to do with your life the very best thing possible.  Timing is everything.  Don't ever think He has forgotten you.  You are His prize creation.  Deny yourself and follow Him with everything you have and the rest... is already taken care of.