Timely Perks of Singleness

To continue the theme of singleness, let's cover a few more things that could be a productive use of your time while you are single.  As a single person myself, I have had this argument with quite a few married people and I think to a degree it stands strong; however, there are some caveats that I am willing to concede to a married person which have been pointed out rather strongly to me, the single person "with nothing else to do than take care of yourself"....

Yes.  That was actually said to me and I'm willing to bet that you, if you are single, you have heard that as well.  Comments?

I have been told that a married person with children does not have the time that a single person has.  It is on this premise that I beg to differ.  We all have the same amount of time... we just choose to spend it differently due to priorities.  I know I am probably only representing the single person's side but in my defense, I am not married nor have I been so I am only talking about what I know first hand.  I have thought about how life would be different for me if I were married and so I can integrate that perspective as well though thinking about a scenario and actually living a scenario is quite different.  Let's just say that there are perks about being married such as having another adult around to help with chores, someone to help provide financially, help with homework, do the household errands, even stuff as silly as fastening bracelets and zipping dresses.  The perks about being single include, not picking up someone else's dirty clothes :), not having to provide financially for anyone else but myself, arranging my schedule around what works for me rather than someone else, generally using my time in the way that I deem important rather than how my husband or children deem important.

There are perks to both sides and cons to both sides... If they are both gifts from God, then there will not be one that is far and away better than the other, though it might appear that way based on where we are standing. 

Anyway, the crux of this entry will be about T-I-M-E - amounts, management, wasters and priorities.

First,  every person has the same amount of hours in a day.  Every one - married or single.  Your marital state does not whether or not you have more or less time than anybody else.  It all comes down to management.  How do you manage your own 1440 minutes per day?

Management of these precious minutes can be one of the greatest obstacles to the growth of the Kingdom of God.  It can also devastate your own personal productiveness in life.  There are a portion of those minutes that will and should be spent sleeping (7-8ish hrs), eating (2-3ish hours), and getting ready for events of the day/evening (1-2ish hrs).  These are things that everyone does (should do) everyday.  Taking the high end of time towards those activities, it still leaves 13 hours of remaining time to manage out.  If you don't manage your time, someone else will manage your time for you.  For example, I remember in college having a difficult conversation with my parents because I had not done well on a pretty big test.  My reason was because I had sat up listening to two different friends having very "traumatic" events... I believe one girl was distraught because a guy didn't call her back and another girl was failing a class.  I remember feeling very sympathetic at the time for their plights and yet, none of this was reciprocated the day I got my failing test grade back because they had to go get ice cream and because the other one had a date (ironically with the other girl's guy... we now know why he didn't call her back.)
Bottom line... they were managing their time in the way that they wanted to... and they managed MY time in the way they wanted to... I, on the other hand, did not manage my time, did not do well on my test because I listened to them instead of studying and then did not have the sympathetic ear in return.  Tough lesson to learn but one desperately needed.

I still struggle with that at times.  I can get overwhelmed and feel like I am just spinning my wheels not accomplishing anything.  However, I have tried to implement strategies that work for me... daytimer, calendar, setting time limits, measureable goals/objectives, PLANNING... Is it easy?  For me, absolutely not.  I am not wired that way.  It is a discipline to do that every day but if I want to make my life count for something, management of time is crucial for success and fatal of not implemented.

Here is a link for further information on time management.

Let's talk about time wasters... there are a lot!!!  I'll put some down that are prevalent in the world that I live in - in my own life or those that I love...

Facebook, excessive sports watching events, emails, surfing the internet, TV watching, procrastination, reading innumerable blogs/internet sites, excessive texting that interrupts a mind's train of thought, excessive shopping, mindless unintentional reading, etc...

I'm gonna be honest, I really enjoy doing many of those things I mentioned above.  I do.  I think the question to determine if these things are time wasters are:
1)  What is this doing for my overall productivity of my day?  Is it adding to or distracting from?
2)  If this is a productive activity of my day, is it in excessive amounts?  Too much of a good thing is not always a great thing.  Sometimes it is just too much to fit into a day meant for working and productivity.
3)  Does it negatively impact your other prioritized activities for the day?

This brings us to priorities...

What are your priorities?  When you take an inventory of your activities, do they equal the kind of person that you want to be?  Everyone has different priorities and we aren't required to have the same ones.  What are your priorities?
- To be top salesperson of the firm
- To be in a position of leadership in order to faciliate change
- To make more money or a certain dollar amount
- To be learning a new skill to make you more marketable in this difficult job market
- To be a parent
- To be a good friend
- To be faithful to your personal charities/churches through giving
- To be President of the US
- To be more open about your faith with your colleagues
- To be married

There are hundreds of thousands of priorities and you can choose what you want those to be.  I think that is part of the problem is that many people haven't set priorities and they are going to realize too late that the world has set their priorities for them and they aren't at all where they want to be. 

If you want to be in a position of leadership, what are your practical steps on getting there?  Are you showing up to work on time?  Are you doing the extra steps that set you apart from the crowd?  Are you doing research about what could revolutionize your field and trying to align your skill set and giftings in the convergent path as much as possible?  

If you want to be married, what are your practical steps in getting there?  Are you where you want to be emotionally when you Mr. or Mrs. Perfect-For-You shows up?  Physically?  Spiritually?  Do you have mounds of debt that will assuredly impact your spouse?  Do you take care of yourself?  Do you have unrealistically high expectations for your soon to be spouse to meet ... and then expect that they accept you "as you are"...  Is that the equivalent to saying "I am looking for the crown jewels for which I will trade you a broken gumball machine necklace"?  We are not perfect and have definite flaws, but we have a responsibility to do the best with the strengths and weaknesses that we have been given.  Work hard to stretch yourself.  Think out of the box.  Do something for someone else.  Quit focusing on what you don't have and focus on all the positives that you do.  You become more attractive and more like the person that Mr. or Mrs. Perfect-For-You is looking for in the first place.

I guess this post is an encouragement to take an inventory of your life and how you spend your time.  Does worrying about tomorrow add a single minute to your day?  I think we all know the answer.  Does your daily use of 1440 minutes each day reflect the microcasm of character you want to exude?  Prioritize.  Get the big stones in the jar before adding some much sand that the big chunks won't fit.  When the big things are taken care of, the littler things are much easier to fill in.  What are your big things?  If I looked at your minute by minute time schedule, would I think that you are the developer of Facebook?  Would I question your commitment to Christ and easily believe your commitment to the Kardashians?  Would I think you talk like Billy Graham but act more like Alexander Graham Bell with your love of the phone?

Same amount of time in everyone's day... how are you spending yours?