In the Beginning...

My first post... hmmmm...

When one decides to embark on plastering one's own thoughts on the world wide network, doesn't it seem that you should have this profound word...one that speaks to the heart of someone. Quite possibly the heart of hundreds of someones. Maybe thousands. I expect there will be many discoveries along the blogging way, not the least of which will be how exactly to get the computer to do what I want it to do. I am looking forward to these discoveries and how they will impact my life and the lives of those who come to visit here. And by the way, who exactly came up with this idea that anyone can publish anything and in one click, deliver the "goods" in a moment's time to 3.2 1/2 gazillion people, some of whom can't even read this post due to language barriers? Props to you, sir or madam.

Did I just say "Props"? That is so not in my typical lingo. And so here it is, the first discovery along the blogging way. It seems that I could, in fact, broaden my verbal lexicon just by being here...on this blog...writing to you... See, you bring out the best in me! Seriously, this blog is a way to speak to those hearts that I miss spending time with due to geography, time, and money. There, of course, is always room for new hearts. So, come on in, welcome home, jump on board and let's do this thing together. And so...we begin...

A disclaimer to start with that I feel like I should throw out there just to cover my bases...

DISCLAIMER: I, in no way, presume to be an expert on this particular topic, but one that has studied and tried to prepare for the Lord's timing of what is to come. I'm sure that when and if the situation presents itself, there will be many more exhorations developed and probably reconstructed based on real life experience.

My Bible Study class has been studying in the book of Ezra. We got to talking about chapter 9 where the people of Israel had intermarried with those that were "forbidden" for lack of a better word. They were to keep separated, or set apart (which is the defintion of "holiness") from those that did not have Yahweh God as their god. Of course, in a class of single women, this veered slightly into a discussion about marriage. There was a sentence verbalized that really had a profound effect on me. Here it is:

"Never date or marry anyone who does not love Jesus Christ MORE than you do."

I know that probably you are thinking, "Well, of course." Hearing it put so concisely and directly really hit me. I think it was the way that it was stated. It was not said:

"Date/marry someone who is a Christian."
"Date/marry someone who is a Christian and is active in church."
"Date/marry someone who is a Christian and teaches Bible study and can quote Scripture."
"Date/marry someone who grew up in a Christian home."

Or even...
"Date/marry someone who loves Jesus."

Not even...
"Date/marry someone who loves Jesus as much as you do."

"Date/marry someone who loves Jesus MORE than you do." (restated in the affirmative)

To me, it was stating the obvious, but stating it in a way that crystallized how God wants marriage to be. Of course, this goes without saying that you (we) should be passionately seeking Christ with all our hearts as well. To be unified with someone who loves the Lord more than I do speaks that, in no uncertain terms, the man that the Lord has chosen for me, who will lead the family in closer communion with God, should be the spiritual leader. That is neither a role that we as females should have, nor covet. I believe that since marriage is to be primarily the example of how Christ loved the church and led her, so should be the man's role in a marriage. The way this happens with the least amount of strife is to be joined with one who loves Jesus more than you do. I would imagine it would make it easier to fulfill our role of submission to our husband if we knew that He was seeking to please the Lord in everything - from the way that he carries himself, to the way that he makes his decisions, the way he speaks, to the way that he treats others. If we, as women, were the more deeply spiritual leader of the home, we would tend to second-guess and question everything that he does, says, decides, chooses.

This concept is problematic in that it is very subjective. If we are making sure that he loves God more than we do, what standard do we hold to since we are holding our husband-to-be to said standard? I think it is a question that we ourselves should really ponder. Something to consider... I have also heard it said that while the husband should be the spiritual leader of the family, the godly wife is continuously challenging him spiritually. I do not mean challenging his leadership, his decisions and his overall headship of the home. I do mean that in order to maintain the godly leadership, he must stay in God's word, studying and praying to seek the heart of God so that his wife may not inadvertantly usurp his responsibility. We are to be helping him, supporting him, serving him, bringing his life before the Lord through prayer and petition, submitting to him and yet strengthening him through our steadfast spiritual walk and the example of action rather than strictly words which can sometime be construed as criticism and nagging.

If we, who are seeking a man like David, one who has been called "a man after God's own heart", expect such things from him, aren't we too, expected to keep in line with the courage of Esther, the perseverance of Anna, the trustworthiness of Mary, the loyalty of Ruth and the faithfulness of Sarah? Would a man like David be attracted to one who did not demonstrate these character qualities?

For the sake of our marriages that are divinely ordained to be godly examples around the world of Christ loving the church and our personal example to our children and families, I thought this was a great point to remember when seeking the "special" someone. It helped me to really determine who is (or who will be) and who is not the best choice for me. It also helped me to understand that if that man who loves Jesus more than I do doesn't come along, perhaps it would be better for us to do without someone than live in a marriage that would not be God-honoring. Sometimes, I feel like this last part is said through gritted teeth, but am trusting that God will provide or allow me to say that with peace, believing that He has the very best for me in mind whether that aligns with my plans or not.