Well, nuts!

Well, it has taken me more than a few more days to write a new post. What can I say, I've been otherwise occupied. It's funny, you get a new job and all of a sudden, you just don't have as much time to blog as you once had. Huh. Weird. Unfortunately, when you read this post, you're going to wish I had waited a little longer to post until something more profound came along. I would be lying to you if I told you that when this topic presented itself, I didn't think about it for while. A long while. More time than I care to admit honestly. Again, money to those who can explain how my mind works and why it is the way it is.

Ready? Here we go.

Today is supposed to be a BEAUTIFUL day. "Spring-like" they said. While thinking how awesome it was going to be today, I was walking to work and I saw an overweight squirrel. Perhaps we should call it a "chunky" squirrel or more like a "husky" squirrel. It wasn't quite to the obese stage as far as squirrels go, at least not in my 30 or so years of squirrel observation. I noticed him because I was watching the construction that I walk by everyday on the way to my building and some movement caught my attention. I looked down in front of me and noticed that little buddy had trouble picking up his hindparts and moving them out of the way before I stepped on him. He lurched at the last second across the sidewalk and made it into the bare shrub bush to "safety". I promise you, as I watched him, he turned around and looked at the potential "scene of the accident" as if to say, "Sheeesh! That was close!" I feel pretty confident when I say, I bet he was sweatin' it underneath that new spring growth of fur. What happens next, embarrassingly enough, is true. I actually thought I was just thinking until I realized that I was speaking, actually audibly verbalizing my thoughts. This is what exited my mouth.

"Well, buddy! You almost didn't make it. You better lay off those nuts you've been inhaling for the last several months. You know, they are full of fat. I know, it is considered the "good" fat but let's focus on the operative word "FAT". And it looks like you weren't eating Walnuts or Almonds all winter either but probably the really high fat content cashews or peanuts."

And when I turned around, and realized that the person behind me thought I should not be working at this medical center but quite possibly ADMITTED to this medical center, I had to agree. Their face was priceless and I walked briskly along, covering up my name badge so as not to be reported to the powers that be. Seriously, how do you get out of a situation like that gracefully and with any shred of dignity? I have just monologued with an overweight squirrel. I insulted him and gave him diet tips. Can I be really writing this down for you to read? This is reminiscent of another rodent story from my past. What is it with me and vermin?