A Walk in the Park

So, let's catch up on sweet little Vivi...

She is so adorable... when she is not urinating on the floor, throwing up in the den, or chewing my favorite socks. Absolutely precious, I say. The puppy is CLEARLY a sanguine puppy, kind of like her Aunt Christi. Playful, fun, short attention span... you get the picture. If not, go back and look at a few posts ago. It's right there.

Let's talk about our little outing today.

Yes. Today, we had a little aunt and puppy time together. We talked, she slept, I drove, we listened to Carrie Underwood. A great time was had by all. My friend, Sharon, and her mongrel, I mean, dog, went with us. I invited them because I LOVE Sharon and her dog needs some social skills in a major way. This dog has no friends and let me tell you, her last days will be lonely. I, in my own way, am trying to help that (rat dog) pet become all that she can be. And she is completely ungrateful and wants to bite me on the backside for even attempting to help her. She did lick me today for the first time. Sharon thinks it was primarily to determine if she needed A-1 or Heinz 57 when she finally took a bite out of crime. I can't say that I disagree with her. (Just for future reference, this lovely dog is named Georgia, but she has several nicknames.)

So, Vivi and I (and our "friends") decided to try out the dog park in East Nashville today. This was not going to be an all day affair, but something that lasted a couple of hours at most. My friend at work was hyping the dog park dynamic so I took the bait. Plus, I don't have to wear those stupid footies there so I said, "Vivi, git in the car - we're goin'!" After driving approximately 90 minutes for a 12-15 mile drive, I knew today was going to ROCK! Growling Gidget was scratching the steel from her cage bars in the back of the car and Vivi was chillin' in my lap. Sharon and I are discussing lots of things from both of us being poor map readers, both of us having a terrible sense of direction, and me having less than 1/16 of a tank of gas left. Fun times. Anyway, Chewbacca finally quit shredding the steel and we arrived at the dog park after becoming friends with 8 cops, 7 random walkers, 6 random passengers in cars, 5 dog walkers, 4 adolescents heading to the community center, 3 marathon finishers, 2 children in strollers and 1 security guard. This dog park was hard to find.

We get there and notice there are caterpillars everywhere. Gross! Not the inchworm-ish critters. These are the plump juicy fuzzy, yellow and black caterpillars that I am positive are poisonous and will NOT turn into butterflies. Everywhere. I get out and haul out Vivi's diaper bag. You think I am kidding. This puppy travels in style, Baby. She has her own travel bag, and in the bag, she has: food, food bowl, treats of many different flavors, regular leash, retractable leash, small towel (for when she sweats), bottled water and water dish, eye cream for when her eyes drain and we don't want them to stain, and "pet wipes" for ... well, the name speaks for themselves. I wish I was kidding about this, but alas, I am not. I will say, I have NEVER EVER used the "pet wipes". This girl has to have her standards and I am not doing that. Sorry. Call me a bad aunt. I am totally OK with that.

Vivi walks me over to the fenced area while I am carrying her bag and my bag (which carries my reading material and bottle of water - THAT IS ALL!). The Queen of Mean is growling the entire way over to the fenced area because she has to walk and wants to be carried exactly 4 ft, 6 inches above the level of other dogs and she ain't makin any bones about it... she's ticked. Vivi looks at her in a very friendly way, she snarls. Georgia's learning curve is a little steeper than other dogs her age in the area of social skills. I don't know what else to say about that.

We go in and meet the first pooch, a cairn terrier, whose owner keeps telling him to "SIC 'er" toward Vivi. Clearly, another dog who needs social skill training... perhaps the owner as well. Who does that? First rattle out of the bag, not even a "Hey, what's up, let me have a sniff." before "SIC' er!" Anyway, luckily there was another dog, Tiger. I liked him (and the single male owner) but alas, there was no love connection for Viv and Tig. Tiger was about 8 times Vivi's size anyway so I don't see that working out. I learned some things about Viv today. She has no fear and she runs really fast. She also shares very well and is very modest....all of which makes me very proud to be her aunt.

Move along to meet the other dogs: Let's see... we had, Tiger, Chester (the hound), Jake (the Weimariner), Stella (the brindle medium dog), and Bartlesby (the dalmatian mix). All very nice dogs, all much bigger than Vivi, all very into Vivi. It was SO MUCH like HIGH SCHOOL!!!! Vivi was clearly the cute cheerleader in high school and Jake was the star QB, Chester was the strong but silent Valedictorian, both fighting for the same girl and Stella was the jealous dance team member. I could not have seen this more clearly. Viv was the popular girl and the other guy dogs danced around her and acted cool but when she was about to leave their vicinity, everyone became very territorial with Vivi ... except for Stella who was whispering malicious lies to Georgia about Vivi for the ride home. Georgia heard every word and was clearly calculating her next move. Classic KHS!

Sharon and I are making friends with the owners and watching the dog soap opera play out when she and I felt something crawling up our legs. OH YEAH! The caterpillars were alive and well and scurrying up our legs and all I can say is that YOU WISH that you had been there to see it! Others present in the park DID see it and came over to make friends with the freaky girls dancing on the bench with poisonous caterpillars crawling up their shorts by now. Thrilling to say the least. After that show of emotion, Georgia was more than miffed that she had been disturbed and actually had to stand on the same ground as the other dogs and basically demanded that Vivi share her best treats with her. So, we got them out and then Georgia totally turned her nose up at them. Snooty Patootie! By this time, the entire population of thepark had migrated over to our little corner. People pulled up benches, the boy dogs were whispering about Viv's silky coat and gams (you know guys are visual), and Stella and Georgia were catty and cracked open a cold one to spike the water buckets. Typical.

But wait... where's Bartlesby? Remember, the good looking Dalmatian mix. Oh, here he is...

PEEING ON MY BAG!!!!!

And just like typical boys, Jake and Chester started laughing (they love bathroom humor). And don't think for a minute that Gnarly and Snarly didn't plan that! Oh, they acted like they were genuinely surprised but you could totally see the evil sneer. And then, they went behind the tree, high fived and drank the rest of the hooch. I have one thought for that: Vivi and I are Christians (she became one three days ago when she quit pottying on the carpet) and we will ignore this incident. They only serve "warm" beer where those kinds of girls will be going and it just won't be as fulfilling in the heat.

We left in a blaze of glory with yet more caterpillars crawling on us and honestly, we just got tired of all the tricks Jake and Chester were doing to get Viv's attention. It got a little embarrassing. Come on, guys! Keep it together! A little give and go - don't drown her in attention. I personally am pulling for Chester but as her aunt, I will support her decision. It's a girl's perrogative - just ask Britney. She knows.

We are certainly going back in the near future. Who knew the dog park could be so much fun?